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Monday
Jan092012

Coming Back

The snow gods have been unkind to our favorite mountain spots so far this winter, but Saturday brought our first few inches of the new year.  A few inches of snow is the difference between what's the point? and wheeeee!  A few inches of snow makes everything new again. 

Here the snow is too dry to even make a decent snowball.  Every single flake holds its distinct shape.  I was the first one on the cross-country trail yesterday morning, and the snow fluttered and parted around my skis as the sun broke through the morning clouds.  The snow is still too shallow to cover the remains of the summer grasses, and it's too light to weigh them down.  How much does a snowflake weigh?  I skied past a dead tree that fell last week.  Was there one snowflake that did the deed?  The tree just couldn't take the weight of one more snowflake?

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I wonder if this is how moods work.  Life piles on, and you're strong, but one imperceptible thing you probably don't even notice gets added to the load and suddenly you're sinking under the weight of it. 

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For a while now I've craved silence.  I've turned off the radio, except for the classical station occasionally.  I put all the CDs away.  The cacophony of kids over the holidays actually hurt.  I sit every morning and meditate in the dark, feasting on the quiet.

But I noticed this weekend that my ears are hungry.  I want headphones, and dancing around the house, and singing loud. 

This feels good.  This feels like coming back.

Reader Comments (5)

Alternate title: Optimistic (Radiohead post title theory.)

I actually started taking time to meditate quietly in the morning again after reading your post on it. It's one of those things that you know is good for you, but you forget and need a gentle kick to remember to do it. LOVE the snowflake theory as that is EXACTLY what life has been like for the last 6 months. The things that should break me have not, but one little thing goes wrong and I just collapse.

May you find balance between the quiet and the loud.

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterMike

Music in my ears (like sunlight) changes everything for me. I think there are lots of ways to "just be".

January 9, 2012 | Unregistered Commenterkelly

Corinna - this image is the epitome of "quiet". As someone who needs much in the way of solitude, I want to go there, among the snow and grasses. I have been trying to sit each morning, in the quiet - "trying" is the key word here - after 10 minutes, I am bouncing, ready to move, to start on my to-do list. For someone who needs quiet, I'm not very good with sitting with it. Still trying to figure that out.

January 10, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterBrenda

oh my gosh!!!! LOVE...LOVE... and LOVE....

miss you...
xo, Kim

January 13, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterKim Klassen

Such beauty--superbly crafted post Corinna

January 14, 2012 | Unregistered CommenterChristopher

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